A Slight Miscalculation
by borednerdsunited
Summary: A one-shot musing of mine. Quite random, but interesting. Starring Zoro, Sanji and a lawnmower. Minor spoilers for those who have not yet come across the Sunny. NOT slash.


A/N: A random musing of mine. Starring Zoro, Sanji and a lawnmower. Enjoy!

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A Slight Miscalculation

The Thousand Sunny had a lawn. It was lush, green and soft; everything you could ask of a humble patch of grass.

Also, it was relatively peaceful. Nami and Robin were usually in the aquarium room talking, Franky was below decks working on something, Luffy and co. were playing at the back of the ship and the curly-brow was in the kitchen.

Needless to say, it was a perfect napping spot.

However, all lawns must be kept under control. This was done by an interesting invention of Franky's called a lawnmower. It worked very well and it was used around once every fortnight to tame the rapidly growing grass. It was unfortunate for Zoro he chose that day to test the napping quality of the new lawn.

The skies were blue and dotted with white clouds. The Strawhats' swordsman was sleeping in the bright sunshine. Sanji flitted around the kitchen, fussing over his precious ladies.

"Would you also like a drink, Robin-chwan? Cake, Nami-swan? How about some coffee, Robin-chwan? Is there anything I can do for you, Nami-swan?"

"Actually there is." Nami forced out of gritted teeth. All she'd originally come for was a glass of water. She was now dangerously annoyed by the cook's incessant questions.

"Anything for you, my sweet!" cried Sanji, hearts throbbing in his only visible eye.

"Could you…uh…" Nami struggled to think of a suitable chore that would take Sanji a long time to complete in relative quietness. "Could you mow the lawn for me, Sanji-kun?"

Sanji twirled out of the kitchen, love hearts circling around him, and adoring "Hai, Nami-swan!" echoing around the ship. He floated down to the storeroom to get the lawnmower, all the while mumbling about "Nami-swan's divine beauty." He dragged the big machine back up the stairs and set it down on the bright green grass on the lawn. "To work!" he cried cheerfully.

"Whew, peace and quiet at last." Sighed a relieved Nami as she heard the lawnmower's familiar rumble. She settled back into her chair contentedly.

However, the contentment was not a mutual feeling. Outside on the deck of the Sunny, lawnmower roaring, was a _very_ annoyed Sanji.

"Oi, shitty marimo! Get your sleeping ass off the lawn! Nami-swan told me to mow it!"

Zoro didn't move an inch.

Seeing that the swordsman was obviously beyond hearing him, Sanji proceeded to angrily shred the grass.

"If I mow off your head, you've only got yourself to blame…" he muttered angrily. Zoro answered with a loud snore. Sanji almost bit his cigarette in half. He continued ferociously mowing the grass, shoving the big machine along until he was next to the sleeping swordsman.

"Oi, move it!" he yelled. No reaction.

Sanji was in a dangerously foul mood. His mind clouded by a red haze, he pushed the lawnmower with as much force as he could horizontally, as close to Zoro as he dared.

Vroom! Went the lawnmower. Snzzzz…went Zoro.

Vvrrroooomm! Went the lawnmower as Sanji sliced the grass near Zoro's boots. Ssnnnzzzzzz…went Zoro, even louder than before. Sanji _did _bite his cigarette in half as Zoro continued to snore. What COULDN'T the thick-headed idiot sleep through!?

VVRRROOOOMMM! Went the lawnmower, as Sanji ploughed it up Zoro's other side. Ssssnnnnnnzzzzzz…still went Zoro. A dangerous tic formed above Sanji's swirly eyebrow, twitching dangerously.

VVVVRRRRRROOOOOOOMMMMMM!! Went the lawnmower as Sanji rammed it viciously above Zoro's head. The lawnmower tilted dangerously close to the marimo's skull, and Sanji swerved the other direction quickly. Although Sanji was mightily pissed off, he didn't want to _kill_ the man. He stopped the machine and waited for Zoro's reaction. Another resounding snore echoed across the silent deck of the ship. Feeling somewhat defeated, Sanji stomped in side angrily, and spent the rest of the day in a black mood.

-.-.-.-

At dinner, the swordsman finally awoke from his beauty sleep. He walked into the normal, noisy kitchen. Yawning, he ambled to his usual seat. Then he realised something was wrong. All the diners were completely still, food left untouched on plates. Luffy included.

"What?" he asked, half crabby and half apprehensive.

"Y-y-your…" replied a flabbergasted Usopp.

"My what!?" he replied irritably. He was not in the mood for one of Usopp's lies.

"Your HAIR!!" screamed the entire room. Except Sanji.

"Oops."

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A/N: Hehe, sorry, I couldn't resist! Please review and tell me what you think! Hope you enjoyed! =]


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